Four women in four cities take on 365 dates between them. Follow their adventures and misadventures.

71. O for Openness – Mr. Open Relationship

His face had not changed very much from last time I saw him, but he was getting fat, which made him look even shorter.

I could not remember what made me think Mr. Open Relationship was quite charming. It was not until he started talking did my memory come back.

Yes, it is his confidence and the way he looks at you when he talks – makes you feel warm and fuzzy.

As is routine, we both gave each other a rundown of our past. The sweet part of this is that you get to hear some confession you had always wanted to hear, something like “I always felt that there was a special connection between us,” or “I’ve been thinking about you since you left.”

After catching up, we moved to the present and he asked tentatively in the middle of our conversation, “What do you think of open relationships?”

Where did that question come from?

“What do I think of open relationship? I have tried that before. I think it takes skill and wisdom to handle it,” I said. I made an effort to look serious, as if I were analyzing a work project. “I would agree to it if either I didn’t love him that much or very, very much. The amount of love is very specific.”

Then we laughed at my analysis.

“You haven’t changed. You were always the most open-minded one among the group.”

But I have changed.

Learning from past experience, I had started interpreting being “open-minded” differently, especially when talking about men and potential sex.

Sometimes being open-minded is just a fancy way of saying “slut”.

Many years ago, I would not have minded being thought of as a slut, but now I realized that I did not need to be a slut to prove I was open-minded.

And, I do think an open relationship is a beautiful arrangement between two very “open-minded” persons.

Would you ever have an open relationship? Under what circumstances would you agree?

With divorce rates at about 50%, are open relationships the way to go? What do you think?

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  • http://www.facebook.com/foxaston Steven McLachlan

    i don’t think divorce rates should really be seen as a reason to start having open relationships.  open relationships, like you say, can be more difficult than they seem and are not for everyone.  i like what you said about the amount of love.  i like that quote and may have to borrow it.  :)